Cognitive Behavioral Therapists often refer to "Core Beliefs" about self and the world. These beliefs shape everything we do, including Exposure Therapy for OCD. These beliefs matter.
- I must be perfect or I'm a failure and therefore worthless.
- I must do everything right on the very first try.
- I must never make a mistake.
These beliefs are on auto-pilot. They guide my actions before I even realize it. OCD feeds on these beliefs, and uses every opportunity to remind me that I shouldn't do the things I fear, or do my treatment, because the stakes are too high. Another bit of CBT jargon is "Feared Consequences," and mine are dire.
- If I make a mistake, this will prove I am worthless, and I will have no hope of peace or joy in my life.
- I will implode from the pressure of my defectiveness.
- I will go crazy from the anxiety.
Leonard had quite a lot to slog through with me to get to the point of doing Exposure and Response Prevention. ERP sounds daunting enough--"Do what you don't want to do in order to get better,"--without adding "And do it perfectly the first time." ERP works by taking it step by step, starting with something tolerable and moving up a ladder or hierarchy of feared actions. Contending with the a harsh critical voice yelling, "Whatever you do isn't enough" paralyzed me at first.
What are your core beliefs? Are they true for everyone, or only for yourself?
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I have found your post a real comfort. Whilst my 'core beliefs' and 'feared consequences' are not the same as yours, there is quite a bit of similarity and that is comforting to me. It has helped me to feel a little less isolated and alone. Thank you lots.
ReplyDeleteA few core beliefs I'm trying to shake:
ReplyDelete*All love is conditional - If you break someone's conditions, they will stop loving you.
*I am inherently broken and need fixing before I will be a worthwhile person
*People only show friendship to me out of politeness; they are actually tired of dealing with me and my issues
http://anxietyland.blogspot.com
Thank you for replying! I to feel less alone knowing others share the experience of beliefs that shape our worlds, often in a way that creates suffering. Blue Morpho--the "I am inherently broken" belief is a powerful one for me too--my therapist says I'm still in there, whole, and unbroken, and I've gotten glimpses of how that would change my world view if I believed it.
ReplyDeleteI just re-read this post (I'm certain that I've read it before), and it was a great reminder for me - given where I'm at in my recovery. We have some similarities, and I have some others too. But I like that you say it is important to work on some of these because they can hinder your progress.
ReplyDeleteHi Pure O--Yes! These beliefs can be very powerful! To know they are there, and realize the ways they get in the way was very helpful.
ReplyDelete