So what is it that I fear will happen if I acknowledge the work I'm doing?
- Even more will be expected of me
- I will fail
- This will prove that I am a worthless human
- I will discover it's not possible to be perfect, and that small steps are acceptable, and I will be faced with a flood of sadness about all the time I've lost to perfectionism
- I won't be able to survive the sadness, because it will haunt me every minute
If you are struggling with perfectionism, please know that it is possible to learn how to exist in the world without a constant striving for the perfect, that happiness is possible. Perfectionism can feel like a sticky film that refuses to be washed off, but it is not invincible. To write something that helps others with OCD is one of the most rewarding experiences I've ever had, and although my OCD clamors that I'm not feeling the gratification "perfectly right and sustained", I can still claim the moments of clarity, of being enough, of being myself.